f.r.e.d

This is my most sombre Christmas yet.

Before there was a chance to rejoice over the Saviour’s birth, i had to grapple with a death in the family.

Grandma passed away on Christmas eve, just a couple of hours shy of a cosy family dinner we had planned a day before. It didn’t exactly come as a shock, but it wasn’t particularly easy either as i’d thought she had shown signs of improvement – twitching of her left leg and batting of her right eye as mum sang her Chinese hymns that afternoon – after around 3 days of being in a state of constant sleep.

It was difficult, to say the least, to be joyful even though i was thoroughly convicted that grandma had departed for a much better place. I’d been struggling the past 2 weeks or so of her hospitalisation – part of me wanted her to go so bad because i couldn’t bear to see this fragile 95-year-old woman i love hooked up to all those tubes, while another part of me just wanted desperately to spend more time with her physical being.

One particular line in ODB’s 25 Dec edition struck/touched me: “Whatever your difficulties, they needn’t spoil Christmas, for nothing can spoil Christ!”

I ought to count my blessings, i admit. He granted me my wish a year ago for grandma to witness my church wedding. This time round, I asked God to let me be around when grandma went off. He didn’t let me see her take her last breath, but He made me the last grandchild to see her before she passed on, and the first to see her after she went to be with the Lord.

Most of all, i’m just thankful that she’s in her glorious mansion in Heaven, because that’s where she deserves to be.